Ohio Impromptu

To begin with, let me say that I don't do spelling and grammar stuff. That isn't what writing is about, so I'll skip ahead to the important stuff, which is ...

Let me first get a few things out of the way, before I say what I thought of the story overall: I was loosing my mind. losing* Pearmy High, which ...

But if you can't appreciate the entirety of something (including where it came from) then you can't appreciate it. If you love rainbows, but don't like the scientific explanation behind ...

To be honest, I didn't expect much from the first story of a fourteen year-old. I really expected to, as you suggested, rip it apart. But I'm afraid I can't ...

Wow. I've heard the word 'fanmix' thrown around a few times, and had no idea what the hell anyone meant by it. But now it's obvious that it's exactly what ...

As a fellow synesthete, I agree with Crysi. There's so much you can do with a poem about the condition and yet very little that you can do to do ...

“The last thing you said to him was, ‘I’m going to kill!’ And you did, so. You’re a trustworthy boy—I’m sorry he wasn’t better to you.” I'm going to kill ...

There are a few clumsy sentences that make your story read a bit awkwardly, but aside from that, I see two major problems with what you have here. Firstly, the ...

He said, "oh yes you can, just hold my hand. I think that that would help." So I sat with him a while, and I asked him how he felt. ...

Sam, you have to let me do this again tomorow, but right now, far past the point where lack of sleep lets me be coherent, that that was like a ...

I'm sorry, but I have to say that this piece was not enjoyable to read. At all. It was bland, uninteresting and poorly written. All the spelling mistakes and such ...

There isn't really much more I can say about this that hasn't already been said. However, there is one problem I have here: the title. Anyone who actually thinks about ...

I disagree with kokobeans about the basics of writing. I like the absence of capital letters, especially in this piece. It gives the writing an unassuming, humble feeling. Like it's ...

Ok, well, to me the whole thing seems a little bit hollow. The action is abrupt and it feels like you're in too much of a rush to spring the ...

I'd love to believe that England is the worst place to be a ginger, but Australia is just plain terrible. My part of it in particular. I can't do laps ...